Category: He Said


We have gotten quite the response since the votes tilted to the “abort” side; many of these messages have been in the form of private emails.  I would like to take an opportunity to respond to them in this public setting, while keeping the names of the individuals that sent me the emails private.

People at a site called 4chan (specifically the /B/ boards) have been posting images of nude women to encourage others to vote.  According to Wikipedia, there is a great deal of controversy involving 4chan ranging internet Denial of Service attacks, Cyber Bullying, and actual threats of violence.  One 4chan user even posted videos of himself abusing his cat Dusty in order to get attention.

The most vocal email we received also described the 4chan community:

4chan, specifically the /b/ board, has a limit to the number of threads that can be accessed at any given time.  These threads typically move very quickly, and so unless you’re relatively fast, you won’t see the same thread that someone has linked to you.

That being said, treating members of 4chan as normal humans is a terrible mistake.  Child porn, aborted fetuses, butchered genitalia, rape, dead babies, porn, and a plethora of other inappropriate content can be found regularly on 4chan.  They don’t care if they hurt others.  It’s fun for them.

Members of 4chan typically operate as a single, destructive “super-entity” whose only goal is to do stuff for the “lulz.”  “Lulz” are things considered to be funny at another person’s expense.

I feel very strongly that you should only use the results of the poll from a date before members of 4chan polluted the polls.  Telling 4chan members that what they’re doing is “wrong,” or encouraging them to “do the right thing” will not work.  You cannot convince these people to act with any sense of morals, logic, reason, or conscientiousness.  If anything, it will only give them more reason to mess up the life of someone else (namely you).

By allowing the polls to be shifted from members of 4chan, you are effectively having the votes of everyone that cares go unheard.  I urge you to not make that mistake.

I understand the frustration some of you hold with our decision to not limit votes from 4chan or remove the vote completely.

I see 4chan as encouraging people to vote in the poll.  How they do it is beyond my control and should not influence decisions about what we are doing here.  We support people encouraging others to voice their opinions on an issue as large as keeping a baby or not.  The whole point of what we are doing is to allow you as an individual to make a difference. Many here have voiced their concern, but as you can see by the face-book links in the upper-right of each posting, few have acted upon them.  The members of 4chan are not the only ones who can get others to sway the result.  And as much as many do not approve of what they are doing, I have pondered this a great deal.  We don’t see a difference between this and what politicians or supporters do in regards to campaigning.




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15 week 3D image

At Alisha’s 15 week ultrasound appointment she was told that the hematoma had gotten smaller and that the baby’s development was right on target for her due date of 4/28/11.

15 week ultrasound image of baby "Wiggles"

She’s still on modified bedrest and working from home until she reaches the viability point in her pregnancy; around 19 or 20 weeks.

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It has come to my understanding that some are posting links to this site on an Internet forum called 4chan. 
I was tipped off to this by an email by “Jay Jay”

Recently a site called 4chan (google it) has had a post in their /b/ section asking the members there to vote for weather the baby should be aborted given birth to. The poster bribed the people who saw the thread with nude pictures and other suck things.This defeats the purpose of free voting.

As well as  a commentator Zachery:
You may or may not know of this site called 4Chan.It was on this site i found out about this poll( sites full of random things)Anyway, The site is full of people who have a  deeply disturbed sense of humor (me to a little), and all the users are voting to abort just for a cheap laugh, so if your serious about doing what the poll decides, then you’ll just be entertaining a bunch of psychotic individuals. I beg you not to get an abortion just because of this poll.
 
I did Google It, and it would appear that the associated posting and all comments with it have been pulled or is unavailable (If I am wrong, I would love for someone to provide a working link).
First, I just want to say that I am not a fan of silencing voices, weather or not I agree with what they are saying.
 
Now, my first instinct is to remove the poll completely, as in a few days we have seen the total number of votes jump from 547 (Give Birth: 428, Abortion: 119) to 1390 (Give Birth: 625, Abortion: 765).  Clearly it has swayed pretty far in what looks like one day’s worth of activity. 
The more I thought about it however, the more I felt the vote needed to stay up.  The whole point here is to let people have a real way to voice your opinion on the topic of abortion and have it actually make a difference in the real world.  By voting on whether to continue or abort an actual pregnancy, you are doing so much more then simply telling an elected representative your feelings.  You are actually changing something in the real world.

What we’ve said our About This Site page still rings true:  We would like to keep you informed on our pregnancy as if it was your own; posting our thoughts and feelings as we struggle to make this decision.  We would like you to see what we see and feel what we feel.  We invite you take this journey with us as we contemplate our own options and encourage you to utilize this site to vote and voice your opinion in a way that will have a real consequence… in a way that truly matters.  Here, your vote will not go unheard.

We will not take down this vote because some do not take it seriously.  We all know this to be true with our current election system as it sits, and accept it.  I will however, not allow duplicate votes.  Poll Daddy, thankfully weeds a good portion of duplicates out and includes reports I can run to help me decipher any duplicate votes that made it through based on IP address, cookies, and timestamps.

For the first time in history, your vote on the topic of abortion will not go unheard.  We meant that. 

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As of today, the voting results are as follows:

Give Birth:  428
Abortion:  119

The ratio thus far is 78/22.  I am excited to see so many take an interest in this.  I must say, some of the comments have been emotional, but we expected some of that.   With 1 month and 12 days left in the vote, I am sure we will get further responses as the date draws near.

Pete

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Alisha had her 12 week ultrasound the other day.  After an internal examination, they said the hemorrhage was no larger.  The blood that was there was old blood and they had no idea why Alisha had bleeding on Sunday.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAn8TjPBxqc

This event has highlighted to me how even something like this can be completely out of your hands.  Considering the nature of this site one could make the argument however that it never really was.

The response we’ve had so far has been overwhelming.  We’ve even had people offer to adopt rather than go through with the possibility of an abortion vote.  While we deeply appreciate the thought, we wouldn’t want to take away the opportunity for the public to make this decision.

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There have been several comments posted in the poll and on this website and we have received several messages through the Contact Us page.  I would like to take a moment to start a dialogue with anyone willing to talk about this.

Please note that any comments you place within this site and on any of our postings will notify you when someone replies.  We have set this up this way to foster open lines of communication for all involved in this vote. 

From LuBelle626: 

” I’m Pro-choice so I support whatever you guys choose to do HOWEVER, the idea that you’re doing a poll like this is completely irresponsible. Especially the idea that you’re going to wait until the last minute??? That’s horrible.”

I have a honest question for you:  From what I understand, the process of the public voting is one of the most sacred and honored freedoms we have.  What could be more responsible than allowing the public to vote?  And as far as the “last minute”… Legal is legal regardless of the time.

Olaf: 

“The baby’s heArt was beating about 18 days after conception! This baby is every bit as much a person as you or I! Taking a poll to decide someone’s fate – life or death – is sick! May God bless this little one!”

Whether people believe life starts at conception or at birth is a fantastic topic to discuss, but reguardless of the discussion, abortion is Legal.  We are using the American tradition that has been used since 1869 to allow the people to actually have a say on this issue in a manner that actually  makes a difference in the real world.

J2:

“Do you not understand how many people in this world want babies and cannot have them? And then you go and flaunt your disgusting idea of “should we have our baby or abort it” like it’s a freakin’ game? Have some compassion. I do not understand, after 10 years of marriage, how you could consider destroying something that is equally a part of both of you just for public attention. PLEASE, I am begging you, have this baby and give it to a couple who would adore it every single second of every single day and give it unconditional love. PLEASE!!!!”

Voting is not a game, and believe me when I say, neither is this.  The public decides the fate of others every election cycle.  Alisha and I encourage you to make your opinion on abortion actually matter and Vote.  Here you have an opportunity to do more than voice their concern to an elected representative.  Here you can do something.

Fred:

I hope that your poll is a sic joke of some kind. How could you even consider killing an innocent human life, much less, based on a stupid, idiotic poll?? Life begins at conception and life must be respected from conception to natural death. If you intentionally kill that baby within you, then you have committed murder. I would hate to go before God when i die and face Him with that on my conscience. Apparently, you do not have a conscience. I have never heard of anything so bizarre in all of my life.

I will pray for you so that you will come to know God, through His son, Jesus, and have a deeper respect for all human life, especially a life that you helped create.

May the God of all grace bless you and open the eyes of your heart to Him.

Fred, I understand your concern and we have taken several precautions to make sure the voting here is secure.  I will be running a report on the results to make sure the possibility for voter fraud is minimized.   When you say (and I’m paraphrasing) that killing a fetus is murder:  Respectfully and legally I would like to disagree.  no one goes to jail on charges of murder for going through with an abortion so long as it is within the legal timeframe allotted by state law.  And while some people believe it is murder, others do not believe so.  This is why we would like the public to choose for themselves.

Aloving Neighbor

This site disgusts me. This is a personal and private matter, nonetheless one that will change an unborn human’s life. Why would you leave that up to the public to decide?
I hope my vote surely doesn’t go unheard. I made the decision to have a son when I was 18, and though it did change my life and lead to true hardship, I can’t imagine how much harder my life would have been had I had to live with the fact that I had simply gotten rid of the problem.
A child is the best gift you receive in life. I hope you choose to keep this baby and love it more than anything, because it will be the best decision of your life.
I’m going to go throw up now and slit my wrists myself over what humanity has become

Your vote will not go unheard.  No one’s vote will go unheard.

Suzie:

I am definitely Pro-Choice, I want to say up front; however, I am deeply offended by your statement of asking for outside opinions.  This seems to me to be a cowardly way of laying blame for any misgivings you may have in the future on others.  The CHOICE is yours and an important aspect of that choice is YOUR ACCEPTING YOUR CHOICE the rest of your life.  It seems to me like you are asking for opinions so that you can have someone else to blame it you don’t like YOUR CHOICE in the future.

I have never thought of an election process as a “cowardly way of laying blame for any misgivings I may have had in the future on others” before.  I would like to respectfully disagree here though.  If a choice is important for one person, then I would argue that it is important for others.

Many comments have been expressing how important this decision is.  Feel free to share this with others.

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Alisha took an “at home” gender test and it showed a “Boy” result though we don’t think the test can be trusted.

On the Intelligender website it says that a false “Boy” result may be returned if the mother has PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome).

If the test had read “Girl” even with PCOS there would be no question.  Looks like we’ll have to wait and find out the old-fashioned way; have an ultrasound tech tell us!

2 months and 3 days left until the vote closes.

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Well, Alisha is pregnant.  wOOt.  I am pretty excited about it.  We have had difficulty in the past with three unsuccessful pregnancies and I am hoping this time will be better.

What worries me though is that two of them had issues with genetics, the fetus didn’t develop properly, heart beat was slow, centerline disorder kind of stuff.  The third ended at a little over a month, so there wasn’t much detail to it, but kind of depressing after we had gotten into the second trimester just prior.

It is rather unfortunate too to have to reset the whole process, but I am excited at the prospects of being a father.  I’ll cross my fingers and toes that this one goes off without a hitch.  Alisha’s uncertainties however are valid.

We’ve put off having a kid for so long that I worry there is stagnation in our desire to do so.  At first we put it off to finish our childhood, and then I decided mine was not going to end without a push.  By that time Alisha had just gotten a new job and was getting settled, so we put it off longer.  Now, nearly ten years after our marriage the prospect of being in my 50s when a kid graduates childhood is a bit unnerving.  My parents had their two children in their early 20s and I’ve valued the bond I’ve had with my parents because of our closeness in age.  I only hope that I could maintain such a relationship with any child we have.

We’ve talked often of having 3-5 children, and starting this process with some time in-between (a year at the most) would end up with a 30-36 year gap between me and the children.  Would I be able to give them the same depth of relationship as my father did?  This hill we told each other we’d climb is looking more like a mountain.

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