Recently we were quoted by CNN as admitting that terminating the pregnancy was never on the table.  This is simply not true.  My husband may wish that that was the case, but our early disagreement about this pregnancy is what lead us to start the website in the first place.  I clearly stated this to the reporter at CNN but my opinion was not included in the article that was published.  Although my intentions about this pregnancy may have changed over the course of the last few months I definitely didn’t start out feeling confident about proceeding with it.  I was very scared and anxious that I wasn’t healed emotionally from the previous miscarriages to be in the right frame of mind to continue an unexpected pregnancy. 

You may think that I have selfish reasons for considering abortion, but anyone who has experienced doubts about whether they want to have a baby surely knows that it’s not an easy decision to make.  The fact that I have had major complications from the start just made me more wary and unsure.  Even this time around I had a threatened miscarriage which could possibly have made the whole abortion issue moot.  I’m the one that lost my job because of the media attention that this website has received and yet my opinions and statements seem to be discounted in favor of my husband’s.  Since I’m the one carrying the baby it seems to me that this is a terrible oversight on the part of responsible media professionals.

Pete and I are on different ends of the spectrum when it comes to our beliefs about abortion.  I’m sure I will receive considerable harassment about this post, but to me until the baby can survive without the mother (otherwise known as viability) it is not a feasible life.  So although my feelings about this pregnancy and Baby “Wiggles” have changed during the time that the website has been up and I don’t believe I could go through with an abortion now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in a woman’s right to make that decision. 

Many people have talked about my husband’s conservative/libertarian leanings and have made much of his pro-life and conservative posts on other websites.  But when it comes to abortion I am the one that wears the pants in the decision because in the end it would be me going through the procedure.  Even though my husband’s opinion and beliefs matter to me, I, as the one carrying the baby have the final say about my body and our unborn child.  My fears, anxiety and worries about this pregnancy have been completely discounted in favor of discussing my husband’s opinions about unrelated topics like cars and global warming.  Abortion is a serious issue and my opinion and position shouldn’t be ignored.  Your comments have helped to ease my fears and although I am still cautious about allowing myself to become attached, I am feeling more optimistic about moving forward.

Once again I would like to thank everyone for sharing their comments (even the hateful ones) because freedom of speech and the ability to state ones beliefs is one of our greatest freedoms in this country.  As we go into our Thanksgiving holiday I will be thankful for the continued health of our baby and that I live in a country where dissension and discussion about difficult topics only makes us stronger and ensures our freedoms.


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