So it’s official. I’m pregnant. And I’m not certain how I feel about it. Sure, Pete and I have been married for almost a decade now with no kids to show for it, but I’m not convinced that I want to change the status quo. I feel that as I age I’ve actually gotten more selfish and set in my ways. I’m afraid that I will eventually regret starting a family and “settling down”, as they say. I fear that the constant pressure to be the perfect wife and mother while maintaining a full-time job will eventually cause my brain to implode and lead to a nervous breakdown. And the fact that this pregnancy puts a big hold on my weight-loss progress is disappointing. Add in the fact that I’ve had three unsuccessful pregnancies already and I’m sure you’ll understand why my stress-level is going through the roof.
On the other hand I’ve always loved kids (okay, most kids) and encountering a baby in a store or a park will undoubtedly lead me to silly smiles and “baby talk”. I enjoy attending baby showers for my friends and family and look forward to the opportunity to spend time with my young nephews. I glance wistfully at mothers pushing baby strollers at the fair and continually decorate our nursery in my mind. I imagine what it would look like to see Pete holding our son or daughter in his arms and the goofy smile that it would bring to his face. All of this leads me to believe that maybe having a little one to cuddle and love wouldn’t be so bad…
But this is where it starts. If I wasn’t pregnant there wouldn’t be a decision to be made, but I’ve definitely got one “on board” so I guess that we’ll just go from here.
On a side note I’ve found that the digital pregnancy tests (like the ClearBlue ones I used for this pregnancy – pictured above) give an accurate reading earlier on than the non-digital ones. Besides the fact that unless there is a language barrier the result is definitely clear as day. The only negative aspect being that the display is only visible for 24 hours while the batteries last. So if you’re one of those people that wants to hang onto every momento of the pregnancy, you’re going to need a picture of the digital result which isn’t the case with a standard “at home” pregnancy test.
I’m curious as to what other people have found with their “do-it-yourself” pregnancy tests. How soon have you gotten an accurate result? Any false positives?
I’m just wondering why you would even want to abort in the first place if ya’ll are married. I understand you have had 3 miscarriages, but this could be the one that survives. Why would you intentionally kill something you created? You’re completely capable of raising this child, not 2 sixteen year old kids that shouldn’t be having a baby. Step up and take some responsibility. There is no reason to abort this pregnancy.
First and foremost….I’m pro-choice. IF the situation dictates! Yours, my dear, does NOT.
Secondly, I’m so sorry that you have endured the pain of miscarriages.
However, I feel that (unless you never stated or I just missed it) you had a responsibility to yourself and your weight-loss to use some sort of protection. If you truly were serious about your weight then you should have been taking every possible precaution. With 3 pregnancies prior, its clear that you don’t have a problem getting pregnant. I haven’t read every word on this site. I’m barely holding back the urge to throw up as it is. So if anything I say has already been answered or defended, forgive me. I can honestly say though, this seems like a ploy for attention. From what I have read, I don’t believe you or your husband have any real thoughts of abortion. This whole site seems like a sick and twisted way to just get attention. I feel that its inhumane to solicit people’s opinions on this matter under the pretext that “their choice matters”. To disgrace the vote for something as disgusting as this is just shameful. May God bless you both and protect and love that little baby as He does all his children.
It’s very hard to convey just how wonderful a feeling you get when you look into your newborn child’s eyes for the first time. When he or she holds your finger, laughs for the first time, calls you mama, falls asleep on you. There will be many beautiful moments and it will bring you the most exquisite feelings of joy, serenity and love and peace.
Until your child is born it doesn’t seem real, you’re not emotionally attached and it is easier to consider not going through with it. Once he/she arrives you’ll wonder how you ever contemplated the question. I have two young children and to imagine having aborted either of them makes me want to cry right now.
Please give your child a chance at life. Don’t end it.
I would like to start off by saying that unlike the last poster I am pro choice in ANY circumstance. I don’t believe you should have a child out of a sense of duty because you will not be happy and your unhappiness will reflect the way you raise your child.
That being said if I were you I would want to have the child (and my vote reflects this). I feel this way because it seems that the crux of your argument is that you really want children and you think your husband would be a good father you are just afraid of the stress that you would have to deal with.
My response to this dilemma is to pay attention to your paradigm every day. Every day pay attention to appreciating the little things. Ignore little messes that will exist inevitably in your home, relax and enjoy the company of your family. Don’t try to be perfect, it will never happen and you will just stress yourself out, which will also stress out your family. The best thing you can do for your family is to love and appreciate them.
I think in this way you can accomplish both goals of having a loving family and not being too stressed out. Have fun. I think it would be fun to research different theories in parenting these days, to play games and to have a curious child asking endless questions. It will get stressful because you will NOT be able to do everything you want to do, but perhaps you could look into Buddhism and their theories on letting go of attachments. You could learn to be happy with what you do have, which is love.
(Also I found out about this site from 4 chan) 😀
Wow, why would you even consider abortion? My mom had 12 miscarriages and gave birth to 3 of us beautiful wonderful children, maybe not so wonderful all the time. She mourned the losses terribly but she rejoiced with the lives of 3. To be allowed to give life is incredible and with Gods grace may you realize the gift he has allowed you. Life is prescious and has VALUE, regardless!!!!
Like a previous poster I’m pro-choice if the situation dictates, and like they said, yours does not! You carry a perfectly healthy baby who many couples who cannot have children would give their right arms for! Perhaps you should consider putting the baby up for adoption if you’re too selfish to raise it yourselves? I think the fact that you have set up this website is disgusting! It should be your choice because, at the end of the day, you are going to have to live with your decision. Whilst I agree that if you cannot find the time to love this child you should not have this child, it strikes me that perhaps, if there was a chance you might get pregnant, you ought to have used contraception in the first place! You’ve been incredibly irresponsible and now have to deal with the consequences. If you choose to have the child and he ever finds out about this website, how is he going to feel? You’ve essentially turned the life of your child into a game, you don’t deserve to be parents! I suggest you have the child and put it up for adoption so it can be unconditionally loved by parents who will never resent it, and then I think you ought to take permanent precautions to ensure this never happens to you again.
Assuming you have your child, I’m sure they are going to love learning that their fate was decided by the net….or the fact that their parents were even considering aborting them. I’m more disturbed about the fact that you’ve taken to a public forum about this than anything else. I’m personally pro-choice, but this is absurd. If you have the kid, I hope you put him/her up for adoption so that way they at least can be separated from your moronic quest for internet stardom.
I guess it is hard for some people to make their own decisions. It always makes it easier when you are just following the herd and (in your own mind, but not in actuality) not responsible for your choices. It would make it so much easier for you if you have any doubts about the morality of abortion to have everyone tell you that it is ok. But would that really ease your conscience if it was not clear anyway. You will still know logically in the back of your mind that you alone are actually responsible for it. If everyone tells you to keep it, then you can feel as though you had no choice and were forced to keep it….that might make it more acceptable to regret the choice later.
The fact that you even put up a web page like this at all shows how little respect you have for the value of life and the fact that you lack any real moral convictions. You likely go through life taking whatever the “majority” dishes out and just accepting it. How could you imagine that anyone outside of yourselves could possibly make the right decision for you. The idea itself is ridiculous.
I sincerely hope that at some point in your lives, you find the courage to be trailblazers, to think/reason for yourselves, and to realize the value of a belief system and moral convictions of some sort or other. The ability to do so is a wonderful and amazing attribute of humankind…one that separates us from the rest of the animals. Even a dog can follow along with the pack. Think back over history, where would we be if we all simply followed everyone else and no one had the courage to be different or think for themselves. Do you guys want nothing more from life than to live as a nameless form in midst of crowd.
My wish for you both is that you recognize that there is right and wrong and that the feelings of the majority do not at all necessarily reflect truth. I wish also for you that you will find the courage to do what is right and live your lives as examples of bravery. I wish for you that you will discover the value of living for more noble reasons than simple selfishness and self-gratification and in doing so experience the immense satisfaction and pride that goes along with doing so. Lastly and most importantly may you one day recognize the value of all life, whatever form it may take, realizing that there is no “you” and “him” or “her” or “it”, all elements of the physical world (you and me included) are ultimately one and the same.
So let me get this straight… you don’t want to get fat, so you may KILL YOUR OWN CHILD… On the other hand, you might keep it BECAUSE YOU LOVE BABY SHOWERS?
I think you should check into your third option, ADOPTION. What comes next if you decide to keep this child? A poll on whether you should change it’s wet diaper? When to feed and whether to clothe it? To beat or not to beat?
Come on, you CHOSE to get pregnant. That is where your “Pro-Choice” decision should have ended…
I would encorage you to have a sonogram of your baby done so that you could see your child as a life within you, my heart goes out to you and your husband for your previous losses, however please consider the damage that you will do to yourself once you choose to end a life, for your husband he will suffer another loss, but you will suffer each day with the guilt and regrets of your decision. I urge your husband to refuse to allow this to happen to you. yes afterwards you can pray and ask for forgiveness and yes you can work to forgive yourself, please if you do not want the life than place this life in a program for adoption where there are others who desperatly want the oppertunity to put a life before there own who will lay down there life for the life of an other who desire to be last in order to be first. I have two children and a wife and I love them so deeply. I can tell you that if you leave self behind the rewards of doing so are incredable, enriching and endlessly rewarding you will surely be blessed. I will pray for you to change and open your heart you do not need to wait for the results of a pole or a vote please allow the Holy Spirit to come to you and guide your heart, take the site down and decorate the nursery. this is what i will ask God to do for you in the name of his son
First I’m not pro-choice or pro-life, I’m pro God and tend to think he loves life, however I’ve only been in touch with God for a little over 5 years so I learned a lot before that about making your own choices.
What I see in your post is paragraph 1 is all these maybes and vague worries and then the stress of 3 miscarriages I get that, but stopping one just because it might miscarry doesn’t make sense to me.
The second paragraph is more specific and talks way louder to me than the first paragraph. I think you know what your heart wants you just have some fears. By the way perfection is way over rated and decisions are to be made by you not for you. Many times couples who are older handle the kids in such a way that their life doesn’t completely change and become settled.
So make the decision and if you read what I read in your post here’s hoping it’s a healthy baby and makes your husband have many goofy smiles.
Sheena
PS. To the husband it wasn’t really the age which made the relationship it was attitude of the parents. In my humble opinion.
I agree with Jessica. Why isn’t there a choice for adoption? If you didn’t want the baby why not get hubby snipped or you fixed? I can’t believe you would do a poll. I hope you choose to keep this precious baby.
How selfish can you be to plan a pregnancy (more than one in your case) and THEN ask yourself “hmmm…do we really want a baby??!!” It breaks my heart knowing someone could actually post a site asking “Should we kill our little innocent baby that we planned to conceive…or should we let him/her live and hope they don’t get in the way and ruin our “status quo?”