Well, Alisha is pregnant. wOOt. I am pretty excited about it. We have had difficulty in the past with three unsuccessful pregnancies and I am hoping this time will be better.
What worries me though is that two of them had issues with genetics, the fetus didn’t develop properly, heart beat was slow, centerline disorder kind of stuff. The third ended at a little over a month, so there wasn’t much detail to it, but kind of depressing after we had gotten into the second trimester just prior.
It is rather unfortunate too to have to reset the whole process, but I am excited at the prospects of being a father. I’ll cross my fingers and toes that this one goes off without a hitch. Alisha’s uncertainties however are valid.
We’ve put off having a kid for so long that I worry there is stagnation in our desire to do so. At first we put it off to finish our childhood, and then I decided mine was not going to end without a push. By that time Alisha had just gotten a new job and was getting settled, so we put it off longer. Now, nearly ten years after our marriage the prospect of being in my 50s when a kid graduates childhood is a bit unnerving. My parents had their two children in their early 20s and I’ve valued the bond I’ve had with my parents because of our closeness in age. I only hope that I could maintain such a relationship with any child we have.
We’ve talked often of having 3-5 children, and starting this process with some time in-between (a year at the most) would end up with a 30-36 year gap between me and the children. Would I be able to give them the same depth of relationship as my father did? This hill we told each other we’d climb is looking more like a mountain.
I think you are very clever! You are demonstrating that voting on whether we can kill an innocent human being is a horrific idea, and yet that’s exactly what our country has done. I’m amused by the reactions you’re receiving. Having said that, if I’m at all wrong about your motives, then may God have mercy on your soul.
Pete, you are concerned about how close of a relationship you can have with your child because of an age gap. I can assure you that should not be any problem at all. My parents are both 30 years older than I, but I don’t feel like that has in any way hindered the closeness of our relationship. Is the dynamic of the relationship a bit different than that of yours and your parents’? Possibly, but I’m sure you can have just as close of relationship with your child as your father did with you.
Pete I know this is very late, but as Matt said, don’t let that age gap discourage you. My parents are 30 years older than me and 37 years older than my youngest sibling. We have perfectly normal relationships. Honestly, it depends on the people, not the age difference.
You two are SICK. Hang your heads in shame.
OK I don’t understand why this site is even up; your wife is obsessed with drs. appts, heart sounds etc, and you sound very excited about the prospect of a child……. what gives? Abortion is not a fix for getting cold feet over parenthood….
WHERE IS THE VOTE OPTION TO ‘ABORT’ THE PROSPECTIVE PARENTS AT?
December 7th.. your END OF VOTING day ironically is the ten year anniversary of my one and only aborton. If I had to do it over again I would absolutley NEVER have gotten it. It stays with you every day for the rest of your life. Regret doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion. Abortion is not a game and not to be taken lightly. It is by far the worst decision I ever made. My family was not supportive and neither was my husband, so I caved to their wishes that I terminate (I hate that word) the preganancy. I still take 100% responsibility though… It was my body and I had to walk in that clinic and do what I did. I promised the child there would never be another. Not another preganancy and not another abortion and that I was going to have a child…this would be it. I have kept that promise. PLEASE keep the baby. (I’m not some fundamentalist Christian) but I KNOW in my heart that spirtually it is the right thing to do. Have the child! Ten years from now you will be able to look at them and not be able to fathom life without them instead of my ten years later and all the “What If’s”
Are you people nuts?? What kind of mother are you going to be when you seem it is admirable to let faceless people on the f*ing internet decide if you abort or not? There is a special place in hfor both of you for even doing this, abortion or not.
Hi, find this whole idea interesting on lots of levels. Also a little scary. Hope that you’ll follow your hearts in the end, no matter what a website says. Also wanted to say it really doesn’t matter what age you are when you have a child, you keep mentally young by being open to learning. I had my children at 33 and 34, and I don’t feel that was too old. We’re close and happy with our relationship. I’m realistic about the pressures they face in life and they understand that my perspective is ALWAYS based on love and a desire for their happiness. Age really is irrelevant in a parent, other than physically. Whatever you decide, best of luck for the future. x
I had my last child at age 46. She is 5 and I am 51 and we are very close. Can’t imagine life without her. You will love your child regardless of how old you are when you have him or her.
Wow….I cant believe u want kids and are afraid uve waited to long, but ur gonna let a bunch of phsycos on some website kill what might be ur first child??? uve went through 3 unsuccessful pregnanies, this ones going well and u are considering aborting?? its a live baby in there. dnt get me wrong, i am actually pro choice (but there should be limitations…its not as easy as yes u can or no u cant….) but ur situation is one in which it is not even near nessecary. i am seriously disgusted by u and ur woman. isnt she attached to the baby at all? its not a game ur playing. that is a life in ur stomach and shouldnt be mudered bcuz of what “ppl” vote. just bcuz i am pro choice doesnt mean i would EVER vote for u to abort ur baby. May God have mercy on both your souls. ugh
My wife and I have been married for 19 years and tried several times to get pregnant with no luck. We were even told that we could not have children, at one point.
In June 2010, we discovered that the doctors were mistaken and we are now due in Jan 2011 with our first and, quite possibly, only child. At our age, we were nervous, but as each test came back showing that the baby is healthy, we were more and more at ease.
My problem with even the concept of your site is that it appears to trivialize the beauty of life. I am not even going to approach this from a religious point of view, but looking at what you said about the problems you had with the pregnancies in the past, this should be a blessing, yet you are, apparently, asking the general public to vote on the potential death of a child.
I will not say that I am against abortion… there are rare occasions that I support it, but mostly for reasons such as certain genetic conditions that will lead to certain doom for the child or in the case where the mere process of being pregnant would have life threatening results for the mother. It does not make me feel good that I would have to TAKE the life, but in those cases, it is for the best.
This thing that you are advertising here, though, really hurts me to the pit of my soul, though. Even if you decided you did not want the child, think of how many other people are out there that would give it a loving home.
I do not know… different people have different ways to look at life. To me, this whole effort on your part seems callous and heartless. Say that you really do leave this choice to the Netizens and the child is born. When they are old enough, will you seriously be able to say to this child, without shame, that their life was in the hands of people out here and not that of their family?
I will be near to 60 when our child graduates. I have not one worry in the world that it will affect my relationship or love for this child. If you do, then you need to learn to get over it.
I have said my piece.
This is one of the sickest things I have ever heard. What is wrong with you people? This is just pure evil. You don’t deserve this child. If you abort this baby you are nothing but cold-hearted killers. This is a baby, not just a lump of tissue! You should have the baby and put it up for adoption so this child can have a home where it is loved! You two are not fit to raise a hamster! I agree with the person that said there is a special place in hell for you both!
Oh I am so sorry that you are even thinking of doing something like this. Do you not realize that God gave you this beautiful and special baby that He created just for you. Do you not understand your responsibility, not only to God, our Creator, but to this child. This goes against what the Bible teaches. If you believe in God, please get on your knees and ask for God’s guidance. What do your parents think of you and this decision. This must break their hearts. Please have the child and give him or her to someone that will give this child love and a good home. Please don’t let satan take away what God has given you. I really don’t think that you even intend to do this. Maybe you just want to see what people will say. You sound way too excited. I sure hope that is the case. I pray for you
Please, don’t abort this baby. My husband and I had a daughter 5 years ago and he already had a daughter from a previous marriage. I got pregnant again 3 years ago with the little boy we desperately wanted. Unfortuantely I gave birth at 21 1/2 weeks and 4 days later watched the son I wanted so badly die. We still mourn his death. We decided to adopt and just recently thought we were going to adopt 2 brothers age 3 and 8, but the adoption fell through and we were devastated. I would give anything to have a son. You have the gift I cry at night for and you are considering ending it. You have lost babies too and so I can’t understand how you would finally be blessed with another precious baby and would condsider killing him or her. I can tell you from my own heartbreak that at 20 weeks you have a baby. They are a real child. My child was a living breathing child at 21 weeks. He was the most beautiful baby boy I had ever seen. If you decide you don’t want this baby, there are so many couples like my husband and myself who would give anything for a baby and can’t have one, consider adoption. I would adopt your baby and give him or her a family if you don’t want to.
Please keep your baby. What a wonderful gift children are!
First off I would like to say you are a sick couple, if you let ppl you don’t even know make a descion regarding your family, you don’t desirve to be parents. You stated you have tried and failed in the past and hoped this one went without a hitch but here you are wanting to kill it. U think keeping that child is going to ruin your life, your wrong. I am a mother I have worked full time and put myself with law school to protect children from parents like you while i was pregnant, and with my baby in the hospital.
Abortions should only be used if the mothers life is at risk or a proven rape, but yall are married, you wanted kids before. Who cares how old you are, you made the choice to wait, you made the choice to have sex and make that baby, if you didn’t want a child you should have thought about that before making this one or any of the others in the past. There are plenty of people out there that can’t have kids and would love a new baby.
I can’t believe people of any age would have a website like this, it really makes me sick to think our country is coming to this, what are we teaching our children? Nothing good. And im sure IF you actually keep this baby one day he or she will look back and they will find out that their parents didn’t want them that it was the country who decided whether they were born or not.. Nice thought isn’t it… I only hope you do whats right, and if not, well im not the one who will have to answer for it… God help your souls and that inoccent child growing in the belly of a women who had no heart for that child..
I was going to write out my feelings on the insanity of even considering the possibility of aborting a precious life and question how you can even think about killing a baby…that has a heartbeat and bones forming…but I think Amy stated it beautifully and simply—–PLEASE KEEP YOUR BABY! I am a 38 year of mom of 4 (17,14, 5 and 4) and would not trade it for the world!
you two deserve each other… and the 2 of you should have been aborted before you were born. Why would you even think about making people you dont know decide for you? I think every one deserves to live, but not to parents like you.
This is the most asinine idea I’ve ever heard of. I’m not sure if you’re serious; I pray to God you’re not…to go through the motions with this pregnancy, after suffering losses, while planning to possibly abort the entire time is sick and you obviously share a pathos. Furthermore, although I am pro-choice this entire site and poll has absolutely trivialized abortion. People don’t make life and death decisions by internet poll; and those that do should have been aborted themSELVES. The reason the “abort” numbers are up is because as this website has gotten out; the masses believe that a child would be better off not being born rather than being born to obviously socially and mentally disabled people.
As someone who has suffered multiple losses AND had an abortion; neither is something to joke, play, or website vote about. If what you say is true; may there be mercy on you–and your child if you have it, because with fucktards like you as parents; they’ll need all the mercy they can get.
Dear Pete and Alisha, Please, Please do not abort that child. It is not a glob of tissue like some seem to think. It is God’s creation in your womb, Alisha. That child became a life at conception. It breaks my heart that you would murder your own child. My heart just breaks for your child. Please don’t even consider murdering your child. God loves that child.