Well, Alisha is pregnant.  wOOt.  I am pretty excited about it.  We have had difficulty in the past with three unsuccessful pregnancies and I am hoping this time will be better.

What worries me though is that two of them had issues with genetics, the fetus didn’t develop properly, heart beat was slow, centerline disorder kind of stuff.  The third ended at a little over a month, so there wasn’t much detail to it, but kind of depressing after we had gotten into the second trimester just prior.

It is rather unfortunate too to have to reset the whole process, but I am excited at the prospects of being a father.  I’ll cross my fingers and toes that this one goes off without a hitch.  Alisha’s uncertainties however are valid.

We’ve put off having a kid for so long that I worry there is stagnation in our desire to do so.  At first we put it off to finish our childhood, and then I decided mine was not going to end without a push.  By that time Alisha had just gotten a new job and was getting settled, so we put it off longer.  Now, nearly ten years after our marriage the prospect of being in my 50s when a kid graduates childhood is a bit unnerving.  My parents had their two children in their early 20s and I’ve valued the bond I’ve had with my parents because of our closeness in age.  I only hope that I could maintain such a relationship with any child we have.

We’ve talked often of having 3-5 children, and starting this process with some time in-between (a year at the most) would end up with a 30-36 year gap between me and the children.  Would I be able to give them the same depth of relationship as my father did?  This hill we told each other we’d climb is looking more like a mountain.